The New Pizza Pie in the Sky: We Do Take Outcasts
by Crossover Dreamer
Summary: Pilot, episode 1. In this ten-way crossover, Atrus helps Louie and Baloo revive Pizza Pie in the Sky and recommends an unusual assortment of characters to employ. Similar to Disney's House of Mouse. See author's notes at the top of chapter 1 for a list of fandoms. I am unsure whether I will post more stories.
1. Chapter 1

**Content:** "The New Pizza Pie in the Sky: We Do Take Outcasts" (Crossover: X-overs & TaleSpin, Rated K, Fantasy/Humor, Louie; Other Fandoms: Myst/Riven AU, Men in Black Dilbert, DuckTales, Full House, Get Smart, Inkheart movieverse, Magic School Bus, Series of Unfortunate Events movieverse/bookverse)

**Summary: **In this ten-way crossover, Atrus helps Louie and Baloo revive Pizza Pie in the Sky and recommends an unusual assortment of characters to employ. Dogbert doesn't like Phoebe, Phoebe doesn't like Larabee, Larabee doesn't like Kimmy, and Kimmy and Launchpad are fast friends. Also starring Agent J, the Baudelaires, and the Folcharts. Characters may act OOC on account of "linking-book lag."

_**Author's Notes: **_I came up with the idea of this crossover back when _TaleSpin _was on the Disney Channel, back when, on that channel, there was truly something for everyone. Some of the characters are the same, others are new. Another major difference between "Pizza Pie" now and then is that now it's a prose series and then it was a fan comic. I didn't make very many of them, though.

I decided to make Atrus have access to all these fandoms because I thought that the linking book is a good tool to use to teleport from one world to another. The linking books in this series work differently than the linking books in the _Myst _computer game series.

The concept of "The New Pizza Pie in the Sky" may remind you of _Disney's House of Mouse_. When I first saw a commercial for that TV show, I was super-excited, but after watching the first five to ten episodes, I was disappointed because it was mostly cartoons from _Mickey's Mouse Works_. Hopefully you'll like this mega-crossover series set in a restraint more than I liked _House of Mouse_.

**The New Pizza Pie in the Sky**

**Pilot/Episode 1: We Do Take Outcasts**

**Chapter 1: No Longer any Monkey Business**

In the Age of D'ni, there was a man named Atrus. He lived in Tomahna with his wife Catherine and daughter Yeesha. In Tomahna he had two libraries. One library had ordinary books, many of which were journals. The other library was hidden behind the ordinary library, and it was Atrus's collection of linking books. Linking books were what the D'ni used to teleport from one age to another. An Age wasn't a time period, but a universe. Atrus explored many Ages by touching linking books that were written by him and other Writers like Catherine and Yeesha.

Catherine didn't do nearly as much linking as her husband, until she went through a phase of Writing linking books nonstop. After making about a hundred trips, Catherine discovered that she had the ability to Write linking books that linked to stories written by authors who didn't know the Art. In other words, Catherine visited the worlds of movies, TV shows, comics, and electronic games. At first, Atrus thought that Catherine was crazy that they were characters in a game series called "_Myst_," until Catherine brought Atrus to an Age and stumbled upon a group of youths with hologram-like devices on their laps. That was when the two Writers learned about LAN parties. But neither Catherine nor Atrus nor Yeesha knew how to Write books that linked to pieces of literature such as novels, chapter books, or picture books. Atrus met some people who could summon literary characters, but that's another story. Well, actually, that's this story, but it's much later in the story.

One of the media Ages Atrus explored was the Age of the TV series _TaleSpin_. He loved it because it was filled with adventure! There he met a bear named Baloo, who was a pilot for the air delivery service Higher for Hire, and an orangutan named Louie, who owned a restaurant called "Louie's." The bear and orangutan were not used to seeing humans, as humans did not exist in their world.

Atrus was tall, had broad shoulders, and was somewhat heavily set around the mid-section. He had a short beard of brown-blonde hair, the same color as the short cropped hair on his head. He had a wide chin, a large nose and eyes that see more then what he says suggests, as though his round spectacles give him a glance into the true nature of things.

Baloo was a six-and-a-half-foot-tall bear with gray fur. He wore a yellow shirt and a red flight cap. Louie was a three-and-a-half-foot-tall orangutan who wore a blue-and-green Hawaiian shirt (if Hawaii existed in that Age), a pink lei, and a straw hat.

One day, Baloo and Louie told Atrus about their attempt to run a pizza-delivery-by-air business called "Pizza Pie in the Sky," which didn't last very long—one episode to be precise. That day Louie had a new and even worse problem. All the monkeys who worked at his restaurant mysteriously vanished. Atrus guessed that the monkeys were kidnapped by someone who had access to a linking book that linked to Louie's basement. After Atrus told Louie that the monkeys may be in another Age, he promised he would try his best to find them. While Atrus was in Tomahna, he came up with an idea. What if characters from other worlds were to link to _TaleSpin_ to eat their pizza? Atrus made another trip to Louie's basement. That time he wasn't alone, but Baloo and Louie didn't know it yet.

In the restaurant, after Atrus shared his idea, Louie asked Atrus how these characters would pay for the pizza, since each world has their own form of currency. Atrus suggested that the characters could barter anything of equal or greater value for either a slice of pizza or a whole pizza. For example, they could give them food from their world, articles of clothing, accompaniment on a quest, or a rare magical artifact they could use for the day.

Atrus told them that the new Pizza Pie in the Sky would have many purposes. Its primary function, of course, would be a restaurant. It would also be a place for family entertainment. But the most important use for the new Pizza Pie in the Sky is a headquarters for characters belonging to various organizations to discuss special missions. Atrus belonged to the Guild of Writers—which is a D'ni guild—and the League of Extra-Special Gentlemen—a multiversal league. Louie and Baloo figured that it was worth a shot. Then Atrus suggested that they hire certain characters from other worlds.

"Who'd ya have in mind?" Louie asked.

"Well..." Atrus began, "you may think that my recommendations are silly."

"Aw, come on Atrus," Baloo said, "Why would we ever think that? Who do you think we are? Becky?"

"Well," Atrus continued, tugging his collar, "I was thinking that you should hire characters that meet at least one of the following criteria: Someone who needs refuge _or_ someone who gets on someone else's nerve."

Baloo and Louie stared at Atrus.

"Allow me to explain. Better yet, allow Men in Black Agent J to explain."

At that moment, Agent J from the _Men in Black _movies came up from the basement. Agent J was a young African American man who wore a black suit, a white shirt, a black tie, and black sunglasses.

"Agent J, do you have the portfolios?" Atrus asked.

"Yes, sir, linking-book dude," Agent J said, "These first refugees have experienced a series of unfortunate events."

"Which world did they come from?" Louie asked.

"_A Series of Unfortunate Events_," Agent J replied.

"I shoulda known," Louie said.

Agent J looked through the portfolios and he read three of the characters' profiles. "Violet Baudelaire, age 16. Strengths: invents gadgets on the spot. You'll know that she is working on an invention once she ties up her hair with a ribbon. Klaus Baudelaire, age 14. Strengths: finds reading fundamental. He can remember the content of every book he has ever read. Ever. Ever. Sunny Baudelaire: Age 3. Strengths: has four sharp teeth and mean cooking skills, man. I don't know why they let a girl that age near fire. And why she would want to after what she has suffered through."

"What Unfortunate Events have these three—siblings, are they?—suffered through exactly?" Baloo asked.

"They're not only siblings, they're orphans," Agent J replied.

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that."

"Actually," continued Agent J, "I have reason to believe that their parents are alive."

"Uh, Agent J..." Atrus started.

"I'm pretty confident that Mr. and Mrs. Baudelaire did not perish in the fire of their mansion, but were abducted by aliens."

"Agent J, I keep telling you that there are no aliens in _A Series of Unfortunate Events!_"

"How do you know? It's like what you and Mo say: worlds go beyond what the author has created and it's possible for them to develop themselves."

"Who's this 'Mo' you're referring to?" Louie asked.

"Mortimer Folchart," Atrus answered. "He's from the Inkheart-world. Not to be confused with the Inkworld."

"Huh?" Louie was confused about why Atrus said that they shouldn't be confused.

"It's a long story," Atrus said, "but I shall try to make it brief. Mortimer and his wife Resa and their daughter Meggie need refuge also. Refuge from people who don't understand what it's like to be them. But I understand perfectly. Like myself, Mo and Meggie have a special ability involving books."

"You mean Mo and Meggie are linking-book authors also?" Baloo asked.

"No. You see, linking books contain worlds that have already been created before the author of the linking book wrote the linking book. Some of those worlds are 'movieverse,' some 'televisionverse,' some 'comicverse,' some 'gameverse,' etc., that were created by multiple authors. But Mo and Meggie's powers involve books where the worlds are created by one, maybe two, authors. Mo and Meggie have the ability to read characters out of books without having to go inside them. These worlds are what you might call 'bookverse.'"

"I getcha Atrus," Baloo said. Then he whispered to Louie, "I think I'm gonna make like Klaus and start findin' readin' fundee, fundee..."

"Fundamental," Agent J said helpfully. "And now for the Four Nuisances."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" exclaimed Louie, "You mean those are all the refugees?"

"Those are all the refugees that are not classified as annoying," Agent J said. "You may like this one, Baloo, but Mrs. Cunningham...not so much. He's a pilot, too, and also like you, his boss was prone to lose his temper over his mistakes."

"'Was?'" Baloo asked, "Did he get fired?"

"That's confidential."

"I'm interested in learnin' more about him. What's his name?"

"Uh...I forgot." Agent J went through all the portfolios in his hands. "That's funny. I thought I had everybody's portfolio." He looked inside all of the portfolios in case the profiles got mixed up. "Nope, not there." Then Agent J shouted out through Louie's front door, "Hey! Dogbert! I don't have the portfolios for the Four Nuisances. What's the name of the duck pilot?"

At that moment, a cute little white dog wearing glasses and what looked like a police hat entered the room.

"Launchpad McQuack!" the dog replied. He introduced himself to Baloo and Louie. "I'm Dogbert, Deputy of Common Sense." Then Dogbert said to Agent J, "Here are the Four Nuisances' portfolios. Here's his profile. Weaknesses: has crashed every plane he has ever flown, except for one. Why did Scrooge McDuck hire him in the first place? Oh, yeah, all the other pilots were too expensive. That Scrooge is such a...well...Scrooge. He literally swims in his money." Dogbert pantomimed a doggie paddle.

"And you envy him," Agent J assumed.

Dogbert ignored the comment. "I understand, Louie, that you act all crazy whenever you're near anchovies."

"That's right. I don't have to serve them do I?"

"No, you see, Launchpad has a similar problem with pizza toppings. Mushrooms make him sneeze."

"Then why did you decide to hire someone who's allergic to mushrooms to work for a pizza business?"

"It builds character."

"What Dogbert means," Agent J said, "is that he was given the job of 'Sample Deliverer to the Outside Worlds.' He will deliver cheese and pepperoni pizzas to characters who are unaware of the new Pizza Pie in the Sky. If he does a good job, we may promote him to 'Order Deliverer to the Outside Worlds.'"

"So, does this means that we're not gonna serve mushrooms?" Baloo asked.

"It should be okay to have mushrooms on the menu," Dogbert said. "He'd rarely be here. And he has medicine." Then Dogbert thought to himself, _One down, three to go._

"So, one down, three to go." Baloo said.

"Whoa!" Dogbert exclaimed with fur standing on end. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Never mind. The second of the Four Nuisances is Phoebe Terese."

"What's her problem?" Louie asked.

"What's her problem?! Ha! What's her problem? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"Deputy," Agent J said, "will you stop laughing like an evil genius and tell him what the problem is?"

"It's her old school."

"What's the problem with her old school?" Louie asked.

"I don't have a problem with her old school. I have a problem with that fourth grader talking about her old school _all the time_. It's 'At my old school' this and 'At my old school' that. Blah! Blah! Blah! At her old school there wasn't a magic school bus that turned into spaceships or submarines or dinosaurs. Wait till she becomes a student at my school. I'll teach her a lesson she'll never forget. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Deputy, you're laughing like an evil genius again." Agent J informed Dogbert.

_I'm guessing that Phoebe is the Deputy of Common Sense's least favorite of the Four Nuisances._ Louie thought to himself. _I better be right._

Wanting Dogbert to move on, Agent J said to him, "Tell them about another nuisance."

"This character is really random...and stupid." Dogbert paused to review the portfolios in his paws. "Hey, technically, both of the remaining two are random and stupid. But the stories behind their randomness and stupidity are hard to figure out."

"Whatcha mean by that?" Baloo asked.

"Well, Kimmy Gibbler started out normal, sort of. Her neighbors from one house thought that she was annoying, except for, of course, her best friend. But when she started copying her best friend's homework, it doubled the annoyance factor."

"Doubled it? It squared it!" said Agent J.

"Yes, yes, either way, two times two is four. We get it," said Atrus. "Now for the final nuisance?"

"Yes," Louie said. "What's the story behind this other 'random and stupid' nuisance?"

"Well, we're not sure how it started," Dogbert said. "His profile isn't very detailed. It says here that his boss got more and more annoyed with him over time, while he got less and less annoyed with another employee. However, the boss still found the second employee annoying."

"What's strange," Agent J added, "is that the boss and the rest of the workers from that company were curious as how they could have so much in common when they rarely worked together. I wouldn't call them friends, but I wouldn't call them enemies, either. They're not companions, and yet they're not exactly rivals..."

"They're frenemies," Dogbert said confidently.

"Did you make that word up, Dogbert?" Agent J asked.

"Yes, I did. Just look it up in _Dogbert's English Dictionary_."

"That you wrote and you published?"

"And edited."

"Wait!" Baloo said. "What's this guy's name?"

"Larabee," Dogbert said.

Suddenly the basement door opened again.

"What did you want, Deputy Dogbert?" a voice from outside the door asked. The voice came from a forty-something-year-old man with short dark-brown and gray hair,on the short side, somewhat muscular and stocky. He has brown hair and eyes, a large nose and a round face. He wore a gray suit and his face looked austere.

"Nothing!" Dogbert said.

"Then why'd ya call me for?"

Then a short girl, dressed head to toe in red and yellow, entered right behind him, shoving her short auburn hair back out of her eyes with a yellow headband.

"He didn't," the eight-year-old girl told the man in his forties. "He was just reading your portfolio. Isn't that right, Deputy Dogbert?"

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever," Dogbert replied.

"That means 'affirmative' from 'Dogbert' to 'Phoebe,'" Agent J explained to Baloo and Louie.

"Mr. Larabee, I just don't understand why you often have so much difficulty determining the context."

"It wouldn't be as much of a problem if people spoke less _ambiguously_. I mean, I wouldn't mind an _idiom_ every once in a while. I use idioms myself."

While Phoebe and Larabee were bickering, Louie whispered to Atrus, "He sure talks smart for being a 'stupid nuisance.'"

"He's smarter than Dogbert claims," Atrus explained. "Mo has been teaching Larabee words associated with English literature. Larabee's goal is to prove to his boss how smart he is."

"Miss Terese and Mr. Larabee," Dogbert said, "You're not supposed to come in here until I have sent Agent J to fetch you."

"So now I'm your dog, O Deputy of Common Sense?" Agent J asked sarcastically. Then Agent J pointed at Phoebe and Larabee. "So that must make them sticks and newspapers."

"Metaphors!" Larabee exclaimed.

Agent J put his hand down. "What?!"

"Metaphors! I know that we're not literally sticks and newspapers. Speaking of newspapers, I wish I had a crossword puzzle to solve." Lacking a newspaper with a crossword puzzle, Larabee took a notepad and a pencil from his coat pocket and started taking notes.

Agent J resumed his conversation with Dogbert. "Anyway, just who gave you the little police hat? Just because you have the portfolios of the Four Nuisances, which, by the way were supposed to be in _my_ hands, that doesn't mean you have to belittle them, or me for that matter."

"Deputy Dogbert, what exactly have you been saying about me?" Phoebe asked.

"There's nothing to say about you besides what you usually say," Dogbert said.

Then Phoebe said to Baloo and Louie, "I kept trying to tell Deputy Dogbert that he has made a big mistake. I'm not the nuisance. Carlos is the nuisance with all those terrible puns of his. However, on occasion, I have suspected that he was the favorite student of my third-grade teacher Ms. Frizzle. Well, at least _he_ has a sense of humor." Phoebe stared at Larabee.

"I do so have a sense of humor," Larabee said. "And you gave that same speech not too long ago."

"I did not!" Phoebe insisted.

"You did so! I just made a transcription that's identical to the one I made the other time you gave that speech." Larabee showed both transcriptions to Phoebe.

"I can't read shorthand," Phoebe said.

"But they're identical!" Larabee shook the transcriptions in frustration. "Well, Kimmy and Launchpad heard it, too." Then Larabee walked over to the door and opened it. He shouted, "Kimmy! Launchpad! Come in here!"

Then a thin, eighteen-year-old woman with shoulder-length dishwater blonde hair, wearing colorful and outlandish clothes entered the restaurant. A six-foot-tall duck with a big beak, and wearing a pilot's uniform walked right behind her.

"Yes, Mr. L? You called me?" said Kimmy the eighteen-year-old.

"Yes, I did. But please don't call me Mr. L."

"I thought that it was J's job to fetch us," Launchpad said.

"For once, Mr. McQuack, you are correct," Dogbert said.

"Kimmy, Launchpad, do you remember how Phoebe's 'Dogbert's Big Mistake' speech went?" Larabee asked.

"Sure do, Mr. L," Kimmy said. "It went, 'I kept trying to tell Deputy Dogbert that he has made a big mistake. I'm not the nuisance. Carlos is the nuisance with all those terrible puns of his.'"

Then Launchpad joined Kimmy. "'However, on occasion, I have suspected that he was the favorite student of my third-grade teacher Ms. Frizzle. Well, at least _he_ has a sense of humor.'"

Phoebe thought for a moment, and finally she said, "They heard me through the basement."

Larabee sighed.

""Hey, Mr. A," Kimmy said to Atrus, "does my hut in Tomahna come with a toaster oven? I want to be able to eat my payment whenever I want."

Atrus looked confused. "What's a toaster oven?" he asked.

"I'll take that as a 'no.'"

"Well, I assure you, Kimmy, you will be paid in more than pizza."

"Will you pay me in Jell-O?"

"What's Jell-O?"

"Poor Atrus. You have a lot to learn about my world, and what a wonderful world it is."

"Hey, Mr. A," Launchpad said to Atrus, "Have you figured out whether I will get paid more than Mr. McD yet?"

"It depends on how many customers we get, Launchpad," Atrus said, "and what they have to offer. Maybe you and Larabee and Klaus can help me with the calculations."

"I can understand Klaus being helpful," Dogbert said, "but Larabee?"

"Me? Really?" Larabee asked.

"Well, Deputy, you are holding his portfolio," Agent J reminded him.

Larabee was curious. "Why do you think I would be helpful with this?"

"Because," Atrus said, "when it comes to money, you're a genius."

"Heh?"

Agent J turned to Dogbert and snatched the portfolios out of Dogbert's paws.

"Agent J: Ten, Dogbert: Zero," Agent J declared while waving the portfolios, and then he got serious. "According to your portfolio, Larabee, you are obsessed with comparing delicatessens. The company you worked for had its own delicatessen, but that didn't stop you from looking for the best bargain or for the best quality of food or the best quality of service."

"That's just a hobby," Larabee said.

"Perhaps, but it's your greatest strength. And you have compared prices and quality with all sorts of goods and services."

"I thought that my greatest strength was my secretarial skills."

"Eh, not really," Dogbert said.

"But both your money skills and secretarial skills will be very useful here," Atrus said.

"So, when do we get to meet the others?" Louie asked.

"What others?" Atrus asked.

"The Baudelaires and the Folcharts."

"Oh, those others. I'll go _fetch_ them for you, Agent J. They're in the basement."

"Of course."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Everybody Has a Job or Two or Three**

"This is Mortimer, Resa, and Meggie Folchart," Atrus said pointing to a tall man with straight brown hair wearing a casual, neutral outfit, a blonde woman wearing a maroon sweater and skirt, and a thirteen-year-old girl with blonde hair the same shade as the woman's, wearing a royal blue sweater and medium-blue jeans.

"How do you do?" the Folcharts said in unison.

"So, Mo, Meggie, which book characters have ya summoned?"

"You've probably never heard of them," Mo said. "I've been in libraries in this world, and not one book in any of those libraries exist in my world. Our power only works with books we like."

"This is Violet," Atrus said, pointing to the older girl, her long brown hair woven into a tight braid, dressed in a fancy plum-colored dress and black combat boots. "Klaus," the tall, scrawny boy with messy brown hair, navy sweater, and beige slacks nodded slightly at everyone and fiddled with the reading glasses in his pocket, "And Sunny." The three- year-old looked uninterested, her short, light brown hair tied back with a scarlet ribbon that matched her dress.

"How do you do?" the Baudelaires said.

"Violet, Klaus, and Sunny will be chefs. My wife Catherine and my daughter Yeesha will also be chefs, plus they will be Deliverers to the Outside Worlds of both samples and orders."

"Where are they now?" Louie asked.

"They're at my linking-book library in Tomahna. Since all the linking books for media Ages were Written by Catherine, she's been spending a lot more time there Mo, Resa, and Meggie will be waiters. I have also given Resa the job of uniform designer."

"Aw," Kimmy said in disappointment. "I wanted to do that! I have a great idea for a uniform, too."

"I am willing to receive suggestions," Resa said. "Does anybody else have an idea for a uniform?"

Larabee, Launchpad, and Phoebe raised their hands.

"What's your idea?" Launchpad whispered to Larabee.

"I don't have one, yet," Larabee whispered back. "I just want to be useful."

"Same here. I bet Phoebe really does have an idea, though."

"The Four...interesting." Resa said. "All right then, I have art supplies. I shall give all of you paper and colored pencils so I can see your ideas for myself. And Deputy Dogbert…"

"Yes, Resa?"

"Don't blow the whistle on them for coloring outside the lines."

"Whatever you say, Resa." Then Dogbert thought to himself, _I'll just break their pencils in half, use the flat halves as firewood, and use the pointy halves to roast marshmallows on._

Atrus continued. "As Agent J has already told you, Launchpad will be Sample Deliverer to the Outside Worlds."

"I'm looking forward to when I get to deliver actual orders," Launchpad said.

"Don't get your hopes up, Mr. McQuack," Dogbert said.

"I decided to put Larabee in charge of bookkeeping and inventory," Atrus said. "and, when Mo or Meggie is with me on a quest, he shall be a substitute waiter."

"I do have experience waiting on tables," Larabee confirmed.

"Kimmy will be the custodian."

Kimmy was excited. "I knew that job at the movie theater would pay off."

Larabee was curious. "What was your job, Kimmy?"

"I was a custodian there, too. I got to scrape gum from under the seats."

"Does it lose its flavor if it's left there overnight?"

"How should I know? It's not like free candy. That is so gross! Where do you get these random ideas?"

"Oh, random places."

"And Phoebe will be Assistant Entertainment Coordinator," Atrus said.

"But who will be Head Entertainment Coordinator?" Louie asked.

"Agent J."

"You have made a wise decision, O Great Linking-Book Dude," Agent J said with extreme enthusiasm.

"Say, Phoebe, where are your parents?" Baloo asked.

"My dad is in the Tomahna, in our hut," Phoebe said. "He had a lot of work to do, but now he's finally unpacking."

"My wife is in our hut also," Larabee said.

"You will not believe what his wife does," Phoebe told Baloo and Louie. "I sure don't."

"I believe that you've ridden on a magic school bus that turns into all kinds of stuff. How come you can't believe what my wife does for a living?"

"Would _you_ believe that she is a child care provider, deliverer for a department store, and a professional wrestler?"

"Well, yeah, I don't know, Larabee," Baloo said. "When we first ran Pizza Pie in the Sky, I got into trouble because my pizza deliveries conflicted with my deliveries for Higher for Hire. That's why the business didn't last very long."

"Well, believe it or not, she's going to be a bouncer in my library, and Agent J is going to be a bouncer outside of Louie's," Atrus said.

"How will she have the time with those other three jobs?" Louie asked. "And why would we need a bouncer? We agreed not to serve alcohol here, considering the fact that minors will be working here. I'll admit that I've had some rough customers, but..."

"It's very complicated," Atrus said. "Time passes much more slowly for a character who is in a world other than their own. In other words, they don't age here, and practically no time has passed in their world once they return to it. So, technically for the refugees and the nuisances, this is more of a timeout than a hideout. However, there is a way for the same amount of time to pass in their worlds as in any other worlds, and that is if the linking books from which their world has had all the pages torn out, or if the linking book has been tampered with in some other way.

"As for the reason why this place needs a bouncer, since this restaurant welcomes customers from many worlds, there is a chance that villains and general troublemakers may somehow gain access to linking books that would lead here. So everyone be on your guard. It is also possible for those unwelcome visitors to tamper with a linking book in such a way that the results would be disastrous, or at least mess things up a little bit. Is everybody ready to get to work?"

Baloo looked at his watch. "Oops! It's late! I hafta be headin' home 'cause I've got a lotsa deliveries to make tomorrow. See ya, everybody."

Standing on the dock, everybody said goodbye to Baloo as he took off in his sea plane the Sea Duck.

Launchpad was amazed. "Hey! That plane looks very similar to a plane that I flew and crashed."

Dogbert blew his whistle.

"Why did you do that?" Launchpad asked.

"That was for being redundant," Dogbert explained.

_This is gonna be a long night,_ Launchpad thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Peppermint, Plates and Prospero **

Many things got accomplished at Louie's that day. Louie showed the Baudelaires a menu from the old Pizza Pie in the Sky, and he showed them how to use his oven. They successfully baked a pizza with the works, minus the anchovies and mushrooms. Klaus asked Louie and Launchpad to come into the kitchen.

After Violet set the pizza down on the counter, she said to Louie and Launchpad, "We want you two to be the first to taste it."

Both Louie and Launchpad took one slice, and after the first bite Louie said, "Kids, this is the best pizza I have ever tasted!"

"Ooh!" Sunny cooed. "Thank you so much, Louie. I brought the herbs and spices from an island the three of us lived on."

"Yeah, the ingredients taste really good together" Launchpad said.

Louie observed, "This doesn't taste like the crust I used."

"That's because it's whole wheat crust," Violet explained. "It was Phoebe's idea to have more options for crusts."

"Did you kids decide to let us taste it first because of our reactions to mushrooms and anchovies?" Launchpad asked.

"That's right," Klaus answered. "You see, all three of us are allergic to peppermint."

"All three of you?" Louie asked. "That's a shame."

"Good thing peppermint isn't a common ingredient for pizza," Launchpad said jokingly.

"It's also a good thing that we only react to it after eating it," Sunny said.

* * *

Later Atrus asked the Folcharts and Larabee to practice setting the tables. But Louie said that all the dishes were dirty. The Baudelaires offered to wash the dishes, and Louie let them. Then Dogbert and a seven-foot-tall green dinosaur who was wearing sneakers walked into the restaurant. The dinosaur was holding a big cardboard box.

"Who are you?" Mo asked.

"I'm Bob the Dinosaur," the big reptile said.

"Did you come from a linking book or a 'book-book'?" Larabee asked.

"Uh..." Then Bob the Dinosaur whispered to Dogbert, "Did I come from a linking book or a 'book-book'?"

"You came from a linking book, the same linking book as me," Dogbert replied. "Go get the rest of the stuff."

"Yes, deputy." Then Bob set the box on the floor and left.

"What's in the box?" Meggie asked Dogbert.

"They're collector's plates," he said. "Here are sixteen 'French Guy in Hat' dishes." Dogbert handed Meggie a plate. In the center was a picture of man's face, and the man was wearing a flat cap.

"But, Deputy Dogbert," Larabee said. "I don't think you should serve pizza on those dishes. What if they were made in the year 1943?"

"They are collector's plates, but they're new from when I came. And they're not for eating on, they're just for decoration. By the way, why 1943?"

"I think I understand what you're trying to say, Larabee, although I never would have thought of it like that," Meggie said. "Deputy Dogbert, it doesn't really make any sense to use dishes with a whimsically French design as decoration for Pizza Pie in the Sky, unless we're serving French food also."

"Now that you mention it, Meggie, that is quite strange," Larabee said. "We better wait until the Baudelaires have cleaned Louie's dishes."

"You are such a spoil sport," Dogbert said to Meggie. And then he said to Larabee, "But this is only role play. You know, like drama class."

"I prefer acting in plays that are as realistic as possible," Larabee said.

"Don't worry, because these dishes are actually the 'Italian Guy in French Hat' collection. I got mixed up for a moment."

"Now that's more like it."

Mo took a careful look at one of the dishes. "Deputy Dogbert, this is a picture of an acorn with a face drawn on it."

"Oh, wow, Mo! You certainly have a vivid imagination. No wonder you're such a good storyteller."

Mo rolled his eyes. _Why is __he__ the Deputy of Common Sense? I'd say that he has less common sense than any one of the Four Nuisances._

"Beret!" Larabee exclaimed.

"What?!" Dogbert asked.

"Beret! I believe that's the word you're looking for. You know, for a French hat? Would you like to borrow my crossword puzzle dictionary?"

"No, I would not like to borrow your crossword puzzle dictionary. My _Dogbert English Dictionary_ is much better than any other dictionary. Guaranteed! Do you think you're smarter than me? Do you?"

Before Larabee could say anything, Resa said with delight, "Finished." She had set the first table with the "Italian Guy in French Hat" design for eight customers. "You should go next, Larabee, so you can work on your idea for the uniforms with the others."

"Right, Resa," Larabee said, and he did as he was told.

* * *

Later, Resa and the Four Nuisances were drawing pictures of their ideas for uniforms for the new Pizza Pie in the Sky. Larabee showed his idea to Kimmy. "What do ya think?" he asked her.

"It looks like a picture of us wearing a dull gray suit just like yours," Kimmy said.

"It is not dull, and they're not all the same. See? I gave all of us different-colored neckties and handkerchiefs."

"Why?"

"So the customers can tell us apart."

"Oh. Now take a look at mine." Kimmy showed her idea to Larabee.

"Yellow and purple do not look good together."

"Sure they do!"

"I agree with you, Kimmy," Phoebe said. "It's a complementary color scheme, like blue and orange, my favorite color combination."

"Hey, everybody!" Launchpad exclaimed. "Look at my design." He showed his idea so that everybody at the table could see it."

"You men have no imagination," Kimmy said. "I like you and all, LP, but I don't understand why you decided to use your pilot's uniform as the restaurant's uniform."

"Well, first of all, this is Pizza Pie in the Sky, and Atrus and Violet said that they could help Baloo come up with ways to make deliveries on the Sea Duck in Cape Suzette and the vicinity so that they won't conflict with his deliveries for Higher for Hire. So I think it would be fitting if we all dressed like pilots. And second of all, I'm not sure whether Resa would be able to figure out how to tailor a uniform for somebody with my physique...and webbed feet."

"I think I can, Launchpad," Resa said.

"Now take a look at mine," Phoebe said. "It's a nautical-inspired design." Phoebe's idea for the uniform included a navy suit, a white dress shirt, a navy blue necktie, navy blue shoes, and a white sailor hat. "It's sort of a combination of 'navy pilot,' 'sailor,' and 'flight attendant.' I thought that I would be appropriate because of the pizza deliveries made by sea plane and the fact that the restaurant is located on an island."

Launchpad looked pleased. "I really like yours, Phoebe."

"You know what? So do I," Larabee said.

"That's my favorite, definitely," Resa said.

"What, no orange?" Kimmy asked in shock.

"I'm sorry that I disappointed you, Kimmy," Phoebe apologized.

"That's okay. I think Duane would like it, anyway."

"Who's Duane?" Resa asked.

"My boyfriend. One of our favorite places to go on a date is at a seafood restaurant at Pier 39 in San Francisco, and your uniform design reminds me of the uniforms they wear at that restaurant. Duane's in the same plumbing business as his dad. He's also a Shakespeare buff. Hey, Resa, do you think that Mo or Meggie could read out the characters from one of Shakespeare's plays so that Duane could meet them?"

Resa shook her head. "I'm not too sure about that," she said. "You see, Kimmy, plays are primarily dialog, that is, the actors' lines, and then there are stage directions and brief descriptions of scenes. For Readers like Mo and Meggie, it is easiest for them to read characters from books that depend strongly on narration, which plays often lack."

"Oh."

"But maybe Atrus has a linking book in his library that has a movieverse version of a Shakespearean play. Which play would you like to try first?"

"Uh...How about _The Tempest_?"

"That's a good suggestion. I'll make sure to ask Atrus, Catherine, or Yeesha about it."

"That would be fantastic." Kimmy paused. "To be honest with you, Resa, I'm not that much of a reader."

"There are many people like you, Kimmy. Some don't read much because they're lazy, while others don't read much because of a learning difficulty. Maybe if you start with books that are a light read and then gradually increase the level of difficulty, you might eventually be as much of a reader as your friend DJ."

"You really think so?"

"Certainly."

"Thanks, Resa! That's very encouraging."

"You're very welcome."

"By the way, what's your idea for our uniforms?"

"It's not nearly as good as Phoebe's. It's just a 'medieval peasant' look." Resa showed her drawing so that the other four could see. "That's the style of clothing that I'm used to making for nine of the past ten years of my life."

"Actually, I don't think it's that bad," Larabee said. "But if Phoebe's idea is your favorite, I guess we'll have to go with it."

As the group of five celebrated the decision, the Deputy of Common Sense walked up to their table. He shook Resa's hand and said, "Congratulations on getting the Four Nuisances to get along. Whose design did you choose?"

"I chose Phoebe's."

"_Phoebe's?!_"

And at that moment, Deputy Dogbert fainted.

"Is he unconscious?" Phoebe asked.

Resa took a good look at the dog deputy. "Yes," she confirmed.

"Good." Phoebe breathed a sigh of relief. "At my old school we never had a dog faint during art class."

**THE END**

* * *

_**Author's Notes**_

**About Atrus:** Atrus is one of the characters you encounter several times in the _Myst_ games series. I never finished _Myst_ and I barely started _Riven_. Those games were just too tough for me. (I'm more of an action-game person than a puzzle-game person.) A lot of the info about Atrus, Catherine, Yeesha, and Tomahna I acquired from D'ni: The Myst Wiki and from walkthoughs of _Myst III_ and _Myst IV_ that I watched on YouTube. I made a few changes to Tomahna. Even though the _Myst _games existed when I first made "Pizza Pie in the Sky" comics, Atrus was not from my first "Pizza Pie" stories from the mid-1990s, but it would have been great if he was. **The description of Atrus belongs to G'lek. I decided to change the order and the words a little bit.**

**About Baloo:** Of course he was from my "Pizza Pie in the Sky" comic series! Will readers Mo and Meggie discover a connection between Baloo von Bruinwald XIII from _TaleSpin_ and Baloo from _The Jungle Book_ by Rudyard Kipling? Perhaps, if a pop culture trivia buff like Kimmy blabs, or perhaps not if Agent J uses his "flashy-thing." **I got the idea of how to describe Baloo from old issues of **_**Disney Adventures**_** Magazine and an article from Wikipedia.**

**About Louie:** Louie is another _TaleSpin_ character from the animated movie _The Jungle Book_. And, yes, according to the _TaleSpin_ episode "Pizza Pie in the Sky," anchovies did make Louie crazy. **I got the idea of how to describe Louie from old issues of **_**Disney Adventures**_** Magazine and an article from Wikipedia. **

**About Agent J:** Agent J is from the _Men in _Black movies. Agent J was not from my "Pizza Pie in the Sky" comics. But doesn't it make sense for an ultimate crossover to have a character who has a memory-erasing "flashy-thing"? **Thanks to TheNew959 for giving me a description for Agent J.**

**About Dogbert:** Dogbert was in my "Pizza Pie in the Sky" comics, only he didn't work at the restaurant, he was a villain. "Dogbert: Deputy of Common Sense" was a bit that cartoonist Scott Adams used in his comic strip _Dilbert_. The "French Guy in Hat" bit was also from the _Dilbert_ comic strip.

**About Violet:** If I were to bring up Violet's inventing skills in future stories, they would most likely be inventions from the computer game, the video game, the movie, or the books. She would also show interest in inventions from other worlds.** The description of Violet is partly Wisteria Stargazer's and partly mine.**

**About Klaus:** I should have much less trouble with incorporating movieverse Klaus's photographic memory than Violet's inventing skills.** The description of Klaus is partly Wisteria Stargazer's and partly mine.**

**About Sunny:** I should have the least trouble with Sunny's biting and cooking skills. I made Sunny a three-year-old who speaks perfect English because in Book the Thirteenth, _The End_, Sunny is a three-year-old girl who speaks perfect English.** The description of Sunny is partly Wisteria Stargazer's and partly mine.**

**About Mo: The description of Mo is partly Goldencity's, partly Cornelia Funke's, and partly mine.**

**About Meggie: The description of Meggie is partly Goldencity's, partly Cornelia Funke's, and partly mine.**

**About Resa: The description of Resa is partly Goldencity's, partly Cornelia Funke's, and partly mine.**

**About Launchpad:** Launchpad was in my "Pizza Pie in the Sky" comics. This is the _DuckTales _Launchpad, not the _Darkwing Duck _Launchpad. Frankly, _Darkwing Duck_ is too dark for me, so don't expect any characters from _Darkwing Duck_. Back then I noticed similarities between him and Baloo. Did you realize that Launchpad's plane at the beginning of _DuckTales: The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp_ looked an awful lot like Baloo's _Sea Duck_? That's a plane I had Launchpad refer to at the end of the second chapter. There was an episode of _DuckTales_ in which Launchpad said that mushrooms made him sneeze.

**About Phoebe:** Phoebe was in my "Pizza Pie in the Sky" comics. I must admit that at the beginning of _The Magic School Bus_, Phoebe did get on my nerves whenever she said "At my old school..." But I started to like her more later in the series when there were a couple of episodes about her. This story has some references to specific episodes of _The Magic School Bus_, for example, how Phoebe thinks orange and blue look good together is from "The Magic School Bus Makes a Rainbow." **The description of Phoebe belongs to Wisteria Stargazer. **

**About Kimmy:** Kimmy was never in my "Pizza Pie in the Sky" comics. This may come as a shock to you, but Kimmy was my favorite character on _Full House_ because I thought she was the least annoying. I got the idea of Kimmy saying that yellow and purple looked good together from an Andrea Barber quote I found on Nightcrawlerlover's FanFiction profile. **The description of Kimmy belongs to Foxcat93. **

**About Larabee:** Larabee was never in my "Pizza Pie in the Sky" comics. I did watch _Get Smart_ either during or before the "Pizza Pie" fan comics, but I didn't remember him being a character on _Get Smart_, and he was one the show a lot. Many of Larabee's quotes in this story were his quotes from _Get Smart_ because Maxwell Smart had about twenty catchphrases, but Larabee didn't really have any. He did occasionally share a quote with Max.** The description of Larabee is partly Foxcat93's and partly mine.**

**Miscellaneous:** The characters from my "Pizza Pie in the Sky" comics that weren't in this story were Slinky Dog from _Toy Story_, Shawn from _Barney and Friends_, and Gloria from _Kids Incorporated_. Larabee asking Kimmy whether the chewing gum loses its flavor under the theater seats overnight is based on a conversation between Max and Larabee in Foxcat93's Get Smart/Bill Dana Show crossover, "Stealth in Manhattan." Bob the Dinosaur is a character from the comic strip _Dilbert_.


End file.
